I don't actually have any friends, I do not go anywhere and I do not know anyone .. I lost touch with all my friends way back 5 years ago and just never looked for any of them or tried in the least bit to stay in contact .. Stupid on my part but in the long run it may be better because then I don't have to deal with drama and he said she said etc.. However it does get pretty lonely .. Having no one to go anywhere with .. no one to have over for dinner or to just chat and no one to trust with my kids .. It's pretty quiet when you have no one to talk to in "real life"
There are a select few I'd give the time of day to but I seem to have had moments of immature/ stupid and screwed that up . Maybe there will be a chance to redeem myself in time who knows? I have come to realize .. I do need friends .. people to lean on people to talk to people to trust and vent to .. Now that it's pretty late in life I finally know I can't do everything on my own I am not OK with being alone and having no one to turn to.
Life is pretty good .. things are pretty busy yet calm .. in the next few weeks we have alot happening .. this weekend we are taking off to Nova Scotia to visit AJ's dad and step mom Donna .. I want them to see Tanner as much as possible .. his dad is navy and so he is away at sea alot so we hope to take every chance to have them here or go there. His dad doesn't know we are coming but Donna does hehe sneaky .. and then once we are back it's off to take the kids to the Frex at some point, we were supposed to be going to Saint John for a ball tournement but AJ now has some work thing on that weekend so I will take the kids to the Frex and have him meet us.
Two weeks after that we have AJ's big day his graduation and promotion, then of course we go into Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping in Moncton.
Loving life ..Things couldn't be much better I am working on things I don't like and I am feeling at peace with things from the past .. As I said before I am me .. I am a work in progress But I am going to like and Love the me I am becoming!!
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